A lady’s take on the Jack Neo scandal: What a Jack-Ass Jack Neo is
By Novia Lim
A jackass is a male donkey. From Wikipedia: In Arabic, حمار (ḥimar), meaning “donkey”, is a derogatory term that refers to someone of very limited intelligence.
In United States, the world had revealed Tiger Woods. In Singapore, we have our very own jackass (donkey) AKA Jack Neo.
A cultural medallion winner, comedian, actor, director, and a local sensation in many other entertainment industry related accolades and achievements. It speaks for itself reflecting that Jack Neo is NOT a person of limited intelligence. Jack Neo is married to Madam Irene Kng for 27 years and has four lovely children, how can Jack Neo commit infidelity against monogamous marriage?
David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas reported that men crave sexual “variety.” Or could it be the primitive instinct that dates back to stone age where men are hunters and gatherers – only this time, they’re craving, hunting and gathering new women?
Madam Irene Kng, composed and supportive, walked in hand in hand with Jack Neo at the news conference on 11th March 2010. Madam Irene Kng expressed her graceful forgiveness and stood by Jack Neo.
What if the scenario is now reversed? Will Jack Neo reciprocate the same level of support? I mean no disrespect to Madam Irene Kng and I sincerely admire Madam Irene Kng for her bravery, tolerance and love for her family.
Should men or women get a free pass if their significant other cheats on them? In marital problems such as infidelity, reports have shown that women are more likely than men to forgive a cheating spouse, as they are more emotional and take into account their children and general survival.
Men are just crushed and experience extreme anger over what happened to them and appears to be less willing to forgive. Are women providing too much leeway to cheating husbands?
Madam Irene Kng had displayed generosity towards her family and magnificent devotion towards maintaining a healthy family nucleus. I am sure not all of us (including myself) will forgive the mistakes that Jack Neo had committed. But I strongly believe that we should give Madam Irene Kng and their four lovely children our support and blessings.
The reasons for infidelity could be endless. Every individual and every family is different. We all have our own stories, struggles and happiness. May it be evolution, human nature or simple novelty, it is not rocket science technology and the decision on whether to cheat is still entirely in a person’s control.
Are you in control?
About the Author:
Novia Lim is a global data analyst by profession, honored with years of solid experience with multinational corporations. She is also a hobbyist model and food blogger striving to achieve lifestyle balance with proper prioritization between career, demands of life on one hand and pleasure, leisure on the other.
Novia blogs at http://eatcookshoot.blogspot.com
Novia Lim: Men are “PIGs”
December 10, 2009 by Our Correspondent
Filed under Columnists, Living, Novia Lim, Opinion, Women
By Novia Lim
Following the sexist remark made by New Paper journalist Joanne Soh in a recent article entitled – “My mum is right: All men are pigs” – I have to agree with her, all men are PIGs.
Now, have I gotten your attention on this one? Let me start out by saying that I’m not here to insult or trash men. My understanding of men will be:
P owerful
I mperfect
G uardian
Every day women complain about how unfaithful and lustful men can be but the fact remains that the number of deceiving and unfaithful women out there are on par with men.
A Global Sex Survey conducted by Durex concluded that Americans are topping the list in the partners division with an average of 14.3 partners for both genders.
Maybe in the past there was a significant differences between both genders because women could not afford to be as promiscuous as men without risking the possibility of pregnancy. But through financial independence, modern technologies and birth control, women have leveled the statistics in the playing game.
Now that more female behaviors have evened out the playing field, narrowing the gap between gender equality, are women accusing men for having certain characteristics that even women possess?
Powerful :
“Men want power in order to do something. Boys want power in order to be something.” – Eric Sevareid (1912-1992)
All men want to feel powerful and in control. Since most men are physically stronger than women by nature, they try to prove their superiority over women in most aspects of life. However, men also need love, care and tenderness. No matter how a man may look physically, inside a man he remains a small boy that needs a woman to find comfort and love.
Imperfect :
“Love isn’t finding a perfect person. It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen
Let’s face it. We are ALL imperfect. Do I even need to elaborate?
Guardian :
For centuries men have seen themselves as the provider, guardian and problem solver of the household. This history explains why today men sometimes put taking home a paycheck ahead of family obligations and offer practical rather than nurturing approaches to women’s emotional crises. For example, if there are weird sounds coming from the living room in the middle of the night, the first reaction of a man will be to grab a baseball bat or golf club to protect his woman.
Men on the other hand can be charmingly simple with emotions like a child. Men are simple. They can survive an entire weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and a TV or laptop.
Equality between men and women is never achievable. But we have been living together forever till now. So what are we fighting for?
Call me a BITCH: I don’t mind to be a Babe In Total Control of Herself.
About the Author:
Novia Lim is a global data analyst by profession, honored with years of solid experience with multinational corporations. She is also a hobbyist model and food blogger striving to achieve lifestyle balance with proper prioritization between career, demands of life on one hand and pleasure, leisure on the other.
Novia blogs at http://eatcookshoot.blogspot.com
5 Steps to Becoming a Model (Photos inside)
November 14, 2009 by admin
Filed under Columnists, Living, Novia Lim, Women
By Novia Lim
Want to be a part of the glamorous and sexy modeling industry? Let’s start with identifying the competitive and complex insides of this industry with some realistic tips.
Step 1: Understanding the Type of Model You Are
Fashion Model
A fashion model is a model that is often hired to promote apparel and clothing. The most typical type of fashion model is a runway model who works in a fashion show.
Requirements for a fashion model include:
- Height requirement: Female 170cm / Male 180cm
- Meet specific clothing size measurements and long legs are preferred
Event / Promotional Model
An event model works at either a convention or a trade show. In Singapore, this is the most common type of model. They are often seen in car shows, IT shows and all types of roadshows.
Requirements for an event model includes:
- Pleasant looking
- Meet specific characteristics requirements to demonstrate a product. (e.g., Fair skin for skin whitening products, long hair for hair products)
Face / Print Model
A print model is hired to model a specific product for photographs found in magazines, newspapers and all other forms of advertisements.
To be a successful commercial print model, there may not be any specific requirements. However, you must be comfortable providing a variety of looks, emotions or body postures during a photo shoot.
Specialty / Body Parts Model
A specialty model only models a part of his or her body (e.g., hands, legs, torso, neck, hair or feet.)
Such models are often used in photo shoots for products such as jewelry, watches and shoes.
Requirements for a specialty model include:
- Flawless body parts.
- No scars, blemishes or wrinkles on specific body parts to be modeled.
Step 2: Building Your Portfolio
As a model, you need to promote yourself. You will need professional photographs of yourself to start off your portfolio. You can either engage a professional photographer or collaborate with photographers on a TFCD basis.
TFCD / TFP, (Time For CD / Time for Print) is a collaboration between a model and a photographer. The job is usually unpaid for both parties and the model will receive a CD or prints of some or all of the shots taken during the shoot in exchange for her time.
You can join websites like clubsnap.com or modelmayhem.com to network with hobbyist, freelance or even professional photographers to collaborate for a TFCD photo shoot.
Guidelines to Building Your Portfolio
- Always use a professional photographer. Make sure you screen the photographer’s portfolio before agreeing to a photo shoot. If you do not like what you see, often you will not get something you like.
- Never work with only one photographer. It will be best to work with several photographers to gather a variety of style for your portfolio.
- Use only the best photos. Do not include all your photos with similar poses and backgrounds in your portfolio.
- Use a variety of pictures, including different angles, body postures, profiles, hair styles and expressions.
Dare to be different!
Step 3: Do Your Homework
Do not expect modeling jobs to land on of your doorsteps. The modeling industry can be extremely competitive and bitchy. It might appear glamorous and breezy to be a model, but the actual fact is that a lot of research is required and there can be many pitfalls.
Modeling Agencies
Research reputable modeling agencies. One reputable resource is the Association of Modelling Industry Professionals (AMIP). In Singapore, we are able to find just a handful of accredited modeling agencies on the AMIP website:
http://www.amip.sg/agencies.htm
There are several small scale modeling agencies but make sure to do your homework to avoid getting scammed.
Black and White
You need to study legal documents such as engagement letters, model release forms, talent agreements, etc, to fully understand what you are getting yourself into. Avoid situations where you are tied down exclusively to one agency and the agency is unable to get you any modeling jobs.
Monkey See Monkey Do
Spend time looking at magazines and modeling websites. The main aim is not to follow exactly what other models do but to learn from them and enhance your own image.
Step 4: Join an Agency
It is not mandatory to join any modeling agency. However major modeling jobs are often offered via agencies.
Be extremely aware of scam agencies. A prominent example will be a suspicious modeling “scout” who approaches you in MRT stations or Orchard road telling you that they want to engage you as their model.
Always do your homework and research modeling agencies, their projects and clientele listing.
Avoid any agencies that require you to:
- Pay upfront fees. May it be signing fees, membership or evaluation fees, a real agency will never require you to pay any money upfront.
- Paid courses or photo shoots – If the agencies require you to pay for makeup, modeling courses or photo shoots to build up your portfolio. They are more than likely interested in earning your money rather than acting as your agent to get modeling deals.
- Too good to be true – There’s no such things as guaranteed jobs or high initial salary. If the agency sounds suspicious or too good to be true, bail out immediately.
Step 5: Improve Yourself!
In modeling, you are the trump card to making an impact! Start looking gorgeous!
You will need to start proper grooming and a skin care regimen right away! Eating right and exercising regularly is also highly recommended.
Essential skills also include the ability to apply basic makeup, posing comfortably in front of the camera and having reasonable fashion sense.
You can also improve yourself by attending courses that teach you how to apply makeup, modeling and how to dress properly.
Conclusion
Not everybody will emerge to be the next top model especially in countries like Singapore where advertisers still favor Caucasians over Asian models. But never give up, work hard to pursue your dreams and protect yourself on your way to becoming a successful model.
Credits:
Model : Novia Lim, Welna Yeo, Angela Kiyomi
Photographer: Satch, Leng Keong, Jeff Boyle
About the Author:
Novia Lim is a global data analyst by profession, honored with years of solid experience with multinational corporations. She is also a hobbyist model and food blogger striving to achieve lifestyle balance with proper prioritization between career, demands of life on one hand and pleasure, leisure on the other.
Novia blogs at http://eatcookshoot.blogspot.com
To live in or not to live in ? – live in relationships vs marriages
October 3, 2009 by admin
Filed under Columnists, Living, Women
By Sanjana George, Lifestyle Columnist
Is it acceptable for a couple to live in or not? It is interesting to note that this is a much-debated topic on the Internet. Under the cloak of anonymity, people openly talk about their understanding of society, give their views and share their opinions.
It is interesting to observe what people think. One argument is that society runs on certain protocols, and that its uniqueness should be preserved. Another openly blames the ‘West’ for giving such unwanted ideas about living in to the ‘East’. A third argument woefully stated that the times were changing and that we all ought to keep up with it.
World history ironically, is replete with tales of polygamy, polyandry and other juicy tales of men and their mistresses. Although living in is still looked upon as a taboo in society, there is a definite increase in such relationships over the years.
This generation is frequently blamed for being too financial independent, unwilling to commit or make compromises- hence the need to be in a relationship that is easy to get out of. Of course, with regard to this topic, there is no right or wrong.
Whether you choose to live in with your partner or not, depends entirely on both your perspectives, morals, families and more importantly, how you both see your future together. After all, should society have the last word to decide that marriage and not living in is the only socially acceptable relationship?
Why is a marriage looked at with respect and a live in relationship looked at with raised eyebrows? For one, it is believed that there are no guarantees in a live in relationship.
Let’s put it like this. If there are no real reasons to stay in a relationship, nothing stops a partner from actually walking out. After all, there are no strings attached. In a marriage, it is expected that couples will have their issues, but will compromise and sort out their problems together.
Secondly, a live in relationship is often thought of as encouraging sexual promiscuity or infidelity. In a marriage, partners are supposed to stay sexually active with only each other.
Thirdly, in a live in relationship the commitment between two partners is questionable. They want to have somebody around, but don’t really want to commit for life because what if this isn’t the ‘right’ person? In marriage, the commitment factor is believed to be powerful enough to bind couples together and pull them through anything.
Fourthly, most people are raised in a way that upholds the sanctity of marriage. No matter how modern they are, most Asian parents are not comfortable with the thought of their children having a live in relationship.
The most common arguments in such cases are “Look at us, we have been married for the past 30 years, why not them?’ or even ‘what will other people say if they know?’
Fifthly, having children can complicate matters further. According to studies, children thrive in an emotionally secure and financially stable environment. On the other hand, they can get adversely affected if they see either parent with different live in partners – a situation that does not arise in a marriage.
Children who are aware that their parents are unmarried often become curious to know why their family is ‘different’ from others. If the partners break up, another question that arises is who will take care of the child. Making joint decisions on finances and expenses may also be more difficult for a live in couple.
On the other hand, a live in relationship has its plus points as well. The no strings attached clause is an advantage, especially if you feel that you may not be with the right person and need time to make life-changing decisions. It is better than getting married on a whim, being unhappy, and then going through the hassles of a divorce.
There are no elaborate ceremonies or customs to go through in a live in relationship, unlike a wedding, which can be an expensive affair.
Marital torture, dowry and sexual harassment are a few of the problems that married women are increasingly facing these days. Often the stigma attached to speaking out and getting a divorce, is reason enough for many women to suffer in silence. In a live in relationship, since there are no prior commitments, walking out on a partner is painful but relatively easier.
There are pros and cons to both a live in relationship and marriage because each has their happy stories to tell. There are so many live in couples who haven’t tied the knot, but who are blissfully happy together as well as many live in couples who eventually say ‘I do’.
On the other hand, many married couples are happy and secure because of the lifelong commitment they have made and there are also couples who are far from happy but simply stay together for different reasons. Eventually, the decisions and responsibilities attached to either relationship rest with you. Either way, it is taking a chance.
About the Author:
Sanjana George is a MBA holder, a HR Sr Executive and a freelance creative writer. She has developed and written content for websites such as Finance Strategy, Travel guide 4 planet and a children’s website Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, among others. She has also published a book of poems – “As a candle flickered in the dark”.
Are women today sacrificing their happiness for a career?
September 19, 2009 by admin
Filed under Columnists, Living, Women
By Sanjana George, Lifestyle Correspondent
The role of a woman in society changed so much over the centuries. Earlier, women were expected to bear children, raise them, and in general, take care of their home. Men on the other hand, were the breadearner for the family.
With time, things changed. History speaks highly of queens like Cleopatra and Queen Elizabeth, who wielded the batons of power firmly in a traditionally male dominated role.
From the 18th century on wards, many women began to make a name for themselves in different fields. People began to read the works of Jane Austen. Marie Curie won accolades for discovering radioactivity and Coco Chanel changed the face of fashion forever.
Today, women have continued to write inspirational success stories by making a difference in whichever field they are in. However, for every successful Donatella Versace, Venus Williams or Julia Roberts in the world; there are also women who are paying a heavy price for their careers.
It is believed that women are excellent at multi tasking and are quick decision makers. We women are wired to believe that we can ‘have it all’, and that each one of us is capable of being a superwoman.
Most of us try juggling multi roles together by doing our best to finish that urgent report on time, run a perfect home, wake up in the morning to make the kids waffles for breakfast and still look fit and gorgeous at the end of the day.
What is important to understand is that while having a career is a personal choice, the life long responsibility of looking after the home and family comes with being a woman.
If statistics are to be believed, the pressures of every day life are beginning to surface in a terrible way. Women with hectic jobs are most likely to suffer long-term effects of stress even though they may deny having any stress at all. In addition, they could face difficulty in conceiving a child, and are more likely to develop heart disease even before they reach menopause.
According to studies, women in the age group of 25- 45 years have a 62% higher risk of developing breast cancer when compared to women who did not lead stressful lives.
The decision made by many women to have a child after reaching a well paying position, also has its downside. More than 7.3 million women in America within the age group of 15- 44 years of age, are diagnosed with fertility problems.
In Singapore alone, around 15% of couples are unable to get pregnant within a year of trying to conceive. Due to a hectic lifestyle, and fluctuating weight issues, around 5- 10 per cent of women globally suffer from hormonal imbalance problems such as polycystic ovary syndrome.
The strain of being a superwoman at work and home, affects the harmony of a marriage too. Divorce rates are on the rise globally and in 2007, the rate was 2.02 per 1000 people in Singapore alone.
Why is the happiness of a career-oriented woman suddenly on the decline? The first reason can be attributed to the constant pressures and competition faced at the workplace to go beyond the glass ceiling.
Extra job demands like frequent travel, working late hours, or attending office parties puts extra pressure on a person. Even if a woman wants to quit her job for a more leisurely lifestyle, unpredictable events like the recent global recession, make her think twice. Even basic expenses are on the rise and it is getting harder to maintain a no frills lifestyle.
Married women with children have other duties at home as well. They stretch themselves to spend a bit of time with the family. Plagued by guilt feelings, many mothers give their children extra allowances in an attempt to make up for not spending enough time with them.
In some households, nannies practically bring up the children themselves. It is not surprising then that such women are constantly fighting one battle or the other, no matter where the battlefield is. It is just a matter of time before they suffer a breakdown and the number of women in such situations who contemplate suicide and substance abuse are on the rise.
So what are the options before a woman who wants it all? Experts say that the first step women should take to withstand pressure on all fronts is to be kind to themselves.
Self-criticism and unfair expectations do not make you stronger. They only leave you feeling weary and unappreciated. Learn not to listen to unwanted criticism from others and be honest with yourself.
If you cannot work late to make those presentation slides, because you promised to watch your son perform in a play, ask your teammates to help you. Having a strong support system at home, can work wonders in easing the pressure on you.
If you are married, chalk out a schedule with your husband whereby house duties are divided equally. If there are children involved, do an activity which involves everybody like having a family dinner everyday. Asking your partner for help in parental duties is not wrong but ensure you keep him informed about your whereabouts.
If you can afford to keep a nanny, do so at all costs but make sure that one member of your family is always around for your children or look at good day care options. When you get a sinking feeling that your job has robbed you of all self-satisfaction, it is time to move on.
Alternatives such as becoming an entrepreneur, working at a part time job, becoming a consultant and working flexi hours or even changing your profession are just a few of the options at hand. So, sit down and take a moment to reflect on what matters most to you. After all, life is short and happiness is in your hand.
About the Author:
Sanjana George is a MBA holder, a HR Sr Executive and a freelance creative writer. She has developed and written content for websites such as Finance Strategy, Travel guide 4 planet and a children’s website Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, among others. She has also published a book of poems – “As a candle flickered in the dark”.
Loading ...
